So it's 9 at night and I just woke up from a 5 hour nap. Me and my lil sis slept all day...we all feel like sh** around my house. Yesterday was my last day of classes! I almost cried leaving class though. I have spent more then 40 hours a week with the same 20 girls...For the past year I have spent more time and seen them more then my fam that I live with. I have grown attached to a lot of the girls..some of them I couldn't care less about. We told each other that we would hang out and see each other but whenever you make pacs like that it never works out...Its all right though. Well I do know some of my grades. I did okay and passed all of my classes ...but I didn't do as well as last sem. Last sem I had a 3.8 I think this sem I would be lucky to get a 2.5. I'm just happy to pass. I had some hard ass classes this sem..I don't care what anyone says but you have to be a freckn genius to pass Pathology, Pharmacology and Microbiology in the same semester!
I start my clinical rotations on Monday at Advanced Dental...I went today for my Orientation and meet the Drs. and the staff..The first thing the head assistant said to me is "I'm pleased to meet you" and in the same breath "Our other assistant just left on medical leave and we are ready to put you too work, do you work well under high demand and stress?" I looked at her like she was crazy..and with a trembling voice I said "I ..I guess so" She showed me around the office..Alot of the equipment is updated ...the most important equipment is not. I don't even know how to work most of them. I'm so nervous. I'm afraid I'm going to not know anything and these people are going to look at me like I'm a complete idiot. Well, I guess I can only hope for the best and keep my head up.
Have you ever heard a song that describes a moment in your life to the "T". Last week sometime me and Tim were lying in bed discussing what we should do about the situation we were in. (about him leaving for the Marines and me either staying or going with him) We talked about it for about an hour or so and didn't come to an conclusion. (well intill the next day) Like most guys he is horrible at talking about his feelings by the end he was so frustrated and didn't want to talk about it..So he turned away from me and went to sleep..of course I laid there and cried my self to sleep.That morning I woke up and left before he got up bc I was running late to school. When I started my truck this song came on......

THE POSTAL SERVICE LYRICS
"Against All Odds"

How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you (ooh..)
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave?
'Cause we shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've gotta face

***This is where it really felt like it...it's like this should of been the music playing when I was laying there staring at his back trying to fall asleep***

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face

But take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've gotta face

Take a look at me now
I'll just be standing here
And you coming back to me
Is against the odds
And that's a chance I've gotta face

*********************************
Later on that day we talked and agreed that it was for the best that we just end it now and save the heartache later on. It really sucks but there is nothing else we can do..I guess you could say it was the right person but at the wrong time in our life. It just sucks that I wasted the past 5 years and all of my feelings. I'm just waiting for this piercing feeling in my heart like it just got ripped out of my chest to go away and I can breathe again.
On a happier note me, Katie and Tonya went out Friday. We went to the Tap Room and the Wheat and Rye. I love Power hour and Ladies night...it's great! I ran into a lot of people that I used to talk to..For example Amy Lance and Chris Jolly. I kinda feel uncomfortable when I run into some people ...like Amy I didn't really care to talk to but I sat there and acted like I was interested into what she had to say.lol..I'm a bitch I know.lol